The Process

Let me preface this post by saying that the Lord is teaching me a ton about being real with my emotions and with how I’m feeling- no longer putting on a mask… so… here we go!..


Have you ever flown on an airplane for a really long time? Like one of those six hours or long flights? I once flew from to Phili to Germany to end up in Rome wit1801374_10153941896440128_703998290_oh my family; a seven and a half hour flight, followed by a three hour connecting flight. There was a point on the first flight, a think around hour five, where I thought to myself, “I’m going to scream! I’m loosing my mind! I’ve gotta get out of this thing!” If you’ve ever taken one of these types of trips, you know just what I’m talking about. It hits you that you’ve been on this plane and will still be on this plane for a stupid long time and you honestly just feel trapped.

You have a moment when you ask yourself, “Why did I do this!?”

Then you remember- the destination is worth the process.

There has been a reoccurring theme in my life for the past few months: the process, the waiting season.

Nothing about this is easy. The only way I can describe what I’ve been feeling lately is to say that I feel like my heart is bleeding. I know that might sound over dramatic, but it’s honestly where I am right now. My heart is broken over so many things and not seeing direct results can be so painful. Some of these things are relational, some of them are career oriented, and some of them are big prayers for this city.

Vegas is painful at times. Driving around town seeing dozens and dozens of homeless people, tons of advertisements for strip clubs, escort companies and prostitutes, and feeling the demonic oppression here can really make you feel like you’re gonna scream. Knowing that this is a hotspot for sex trafficking and knowing that the average age for girls to enter the sex trade here is 13 will make you feel hopeless if you let it.

My heart is so broken for this city. I’m so desperate for revival here. I’m so desperate for Jesus to move here like only He can. A year ago, the Lord sealed a promise in my heart that He would send revival to this place- I’m fully confident that He will! But waiting and being someone to stir that up here can be so hard. The mass sin and corruption can seem so grand that it feels as if it would be impossible for this city to change. But the Lord is showing me that yes, He calls the masses, but He reaches out and touches the individual.

I had a moment the other day when I got into my car and screamed because it was literally 125° inside my car, I was tired and felt so pushed down by the darkness here. I thought to myself, “UGH, why do I live here!?” It was similar to my freak out moment in the airplane… But the Lord was kind in simply nudging me and reminded me that the destination is worth the process. 

So far this summer we’ve seen more fruit than we ever have before.

At least 70 people have gotten saved since the beginning of June.

We’ve seen about that many prodigals come back to the Lord.

We’ve seen dozens of healings of physical and emotional problems.

We’ve seen 2 prostitutes walk into our YWAM base and ask for help to leave the sex trade and they are now in rehab programs.

We’ve seen 5 kids found and rescued that we were looking for doing our anti-trafficking outreach.

I have to believe that this is what the beginning of revival looks like! But its a process and it takes faithfulness to see it come to pass.

The same is true for so many other things in this life; a healthy marriage, a fruitful career, good physical shape, our relationships, growing in our walk with the Father. All good things are accomplished in a process.

And can I tell you a little secret? God isn’t upset that we have to go through a process! SAY WHAAAAT!?

He’s not mad at me that I’m not writing ten songs a day. He’s not mad at me for not being perfect wife material yet. He’s not mad that I still struggle with jealousy. He’s not mad at me for still struggling with body image.

He’s not mad at you for whatever it is you’re working on. He just isn’t! He’s the God of the process! He uses the process to pull us closer to Himself and gently mold us.  He does not put pressure on His children to be perfect. If you’re feeling that pressure right now, like I so often do, know that it is not of God. It is a lie from the Liar and you can tell it to go. As we grow in our processes, we have the opportunity to cling to the Father and rely that He is working on our behalf in a way that we don’t understand.

Let me just say that the ten hours of flying it took to get me and my family to Rome was well worth it. We were there to celebrate my mom’s recovery from cancer and the Lord met us in such a sweet way on that trip- my memories are some of the best of my life.
It far exceeded every single expectation I ever had of what it would be like! I’ve rarely looked back and thought about how horribly long that flight was. (If anything I think I’m now more prepared to fly across the globe to Asia if the Lord ever calls me to!)

The destination was worth the process and the process prepared me for a new adventure. 

So, dear friends, take heart! No matter the process that you’re walking through, no matter how long your flight, keep the destination in sight and know that the Father is pulling you closer to Himself and doing things that you’ve never even dreamed of in your greatest dreams. He loves to blow our expectations out of the water! We can trust in Him and in His timing.

How He loves us!

the destination


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