But God

I’ve been really overwhelmed lately.

Overwhelmed by this transition. Overwhelmed by the brokenness of my new city. Overwhelmed by loneliness that comes with a moving to a new city. Overwhelmed by the hatred I see every time I check any form of social networking. Overwhelmed by how corrupt the political system is here and all over the world. Overwhelmed by exhaustion- physical and emotional.
Just plain overwhelmed.

But God. 

All throughout the book of Psalms we see a very broken King David who psychologists now believe struggled with depression for much of his life. In one verse he says, “How long must I wrestle with my own thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?”  (Psalm13:2) This was the same man who, as a boy, slayed Goliath! I love David because he is the victor in one of the most epic fights of all time but yet he is so incredibly honest about the condition of his heart. David never puts on a show for people. He’s overwhelmed and broken and he’s not hiding it.

But he also doesn’t just sit there. The end of Psalm 13 says, “But God, I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”

Psalm 73:26, “My health may fail, and my heart may break, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.”

Never once does David say, “Yeah, things are awful, but it’s ok!”- like we so often we feel pressure to do. So often we feel that to be Christian means to have it all together but scripture literally points to the opposite of that. To be a Christians means to be fully broken but FULLY dependent on Christ.

I was talking to a friend the other day about something I was struggling with and at the end of it I said, “yeah, oh well though, it’s fine!” And my wonderful friend basically rebuked me reminding me that our brokenness shouldn’t get pushed under the rug. We are to weep with one another. But more than anything, we must holdfast to the nature of the Father. I’m learning that there is so much beauty in just saying, “this isn’t fine! This is not okay. But I know the Father and I know that He is doing something for my good and His glory that I just can’t see right now. ”

Give yourself the freedom to hurt and to express that hurt. Give yourself freedom to be frustrated and overwhelmed. Emotions are real and valid and they’re okay. I truly believe that so often when we are trying to brush our brokenness off, the Lord is there beside us, weeping with us.

But then, give yourself the freedom to step into a new level of trusting the very nature of YAHWEH. He is I AM. He is anything and everything we could ever need.

I’ve been really overwhelmed lately. But God gives my heart peace and my mind rest. I’ve been really brokenhearted lately. But God is the one who gathers the broken pieces of my heart in His hands and holds them together.

 

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