When We Turn To Gold

{ May 1, 2016 }

No one really prepares you for this moment. No one really tells you what its going to be like to be two weeks away from your college graduation. I’d say that’s because its such an indescribable feeling.

My time at Liberty was not at all what I anticipated. If my senior-year-of-high-school-self could see where I am right now… she’d be confused. Wasn’t I supposed to be on a ministry team? Wasn’t I supposed to be engaged by now? Wasn’t I supposed to have been skinny by now? Wasn’t I supposed to be heading off to Nashville to become a world wide superstar!?
(Can you hear heaven sweetly chuckle?)

Liberty was not always kind to me. But I’ve learned so much more than what my degree says I have.

I’ve learned what it is to love Christians who frustrate me.
I’ve learned not to be offended by opposing opinions, but to listen with love and respond with kindness.
I’ve learned what scripture means when it says, “pride goes before the fall.”  
I’ve learned that idols will destroy everything in my life. 
I’ve learned that full surrender means wanting the Lord and His will at any cost. 
I’ve learned what it means to walk in my identity as a Daughter of the Most High.
I’ve learned that dancing isn’t about perfection- its about freedom.
I’ve learned that working out is not a punishment for overeating.
I’ve learned that there is always more freedom.
I’ve learned that not everyone will like me- and that’s okay.
I’ve learned that Jesus likes me. WOAH.

The list could go on for ages, but I’ll stop there. But now what? How do you close a chapter like this? It doesn’t feel like a chapter, but an epic novel. I’m not at all who I was when I first arrived. I couldn’t be more happy to say that, either.

When I arrived, my first semester here I had to take an Evangelism course. One class, my professor, Dr. Wheeler, gave us all index cards and asked us if the Lord had our “Yes.” I remember thinking, “well duh. I’m a Christian! I love the Lord! I’d do anything for Him!” But then I felt anxious when he asked us to write down the word “YES” if we were willing to do anything, go anywhere, that the Lord may ask. I stared at the card for several minutes and then wrote my “YES.”

Saying, “Yes” to the Lord was the best thing I’ve ever done, but it meant letting go and hearing Him say, “no” to many things I had held on to.

My dreams are not what they once were. The Lord has said “no” to some of them and I’ve learned so much about letting go and saying goodbye.

Like I said earlier, I had imagined myself graduating LU, married or engaged, moving to Nashville to pursue stardom and fame. Yet here I am, single as a pringle, moving across the country to Las Vegas to be on staff at a church and I’m raising my own support! Not at all “the plan” but WOW am I grateful for giving my “YES” and the Father lovingly giving His, “no’s.”

He’s taught me that really trusting Him, is saying, “yes” to anything He has, and letting go of everything else.

That’s when everything shifts. When I let go, who I am changes. Because when I let go of everything I want, all my hopes and plans, all my desires, all my expectations… I can cling to the Father, alone.
When I let it all go- I can see the Father. 

And that changes everything. That’s when we turn to gold.

I was recently at my church here in Lynchburg, Revival Scene, and had the most bizarre and lovely encounter with the Lord. (We’ve been in a crazy season of Revival here in Lynchburg and we’ve been meeting almost every single day and the Lord has done some incredible things in this season.) I had finished leading worship and was sitting in the front of the church while many people were lying flat on the ground before the Lord; many were laughing, many were crying. I was sitting there and felt as if Jesus was sitting directly in front of me. I spoke to Him about the future and with my heart full of love I said, “Jesus, You are all I want.” Then I felt Him smile at me and say one word, full of love and almost with a sigh of relief, as if He’d been waiting for me to say those words since the dawn of time, He simply said,

“Finally.”

So as the season is about to change, I leave you with a question; are you holding on to anything that isn’t Jesus?

Are you willing to say, “YES” to Jesus, and let go of everything else?
You will never be the same- life will never be the same!
He’s waiting for you to fully surrender at all cost– to take you with Him on the greatest adventure of your life!

Shout out to Joel Ansett for this incredible song. The Lord has used it in such a mighty way in my life through the season and it was such a privilege to sing it in my Senior Artist Program. If you’re looking for new music that will change your life and draw you closer to Christ, check out his album The Nature of Us. It’ll change the way you see yourself and the way you see Jesus.